And jokes

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Goliath.

Goliath who?

I need to Goliath down and sleep!

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.

A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.

Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.

One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.

But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

Yo momma so dumb that she thought Auradon was in "Varian And The Seven Kingdoms."

Anybody can use this :)

Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

What is Osama bin Laden's favorite game?

Hide and seek.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?

Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!

Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.

If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.

Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.