And jokes

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.

He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.

With a poke-poke here,

And a poke-poke there,

Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.

🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

What is your name? What am I pointing at? 👃🏽 And what am I holding? Hahaha!!!!! Knows nothing.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?

Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!

Do you like In-N-Out?

Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.

"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."

- Sun Tzu

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"

You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.

Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"

Why did Justin Bieber start playing hide and seek with his fans?

Because they keepped.

What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?

Spit, spit, spit!