And jokes

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

I got in an argument with the 90-degree angle. And guess what? It was right!

What do a banana and shampoo have in common?

Ur mom.

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

What do apple trees and orphans have in common?

The apples get picked.

I once masturbated in the bathroom.

I was looking for something, for a little help.

Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!

Why is 6 scared of 7?

7 ate 9 and 10!

What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

The baseball player has a home to run back to.

On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.

Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?

They have a history of separating colors.

Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

What do a tank and a warship have in common?

They're overweight.