And jokes

School shooting

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

Nut

Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?

It was nut funny.

School Shooter

Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?

Memes

Dog

I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?

And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.

Orphanage

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

Fact

5 Cobra Kai Facts:

1: Johnny = Daniel

2: Miguel > Robby

3: Miyagi Do = Eagle Fang

4: Chozen and Daniel > Kreese and Silver

5: Tory is actually a good person.

Wine

Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

Bathroom

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Trauma

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

Woman

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Rope

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."