And jokes

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.

Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

Someone cutting the cheese then farted.

Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

That's what you do. And the ahteot09oe.

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste!

Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?

He had a 6 cents of humor.

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.

What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.

Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.

The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.

Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.

Friend: What fly's and cry's?

You: A cloud.

August 2020: LeafyIsHere gets terminated on Youtube for harassing Pokimane.

Billy, a toxic kid in Leafy's fanbase: "Imane's life is a joke, that's why I call her Jokeimane."

A person who simps for Pokimane: "And you look like you came from a farm, Hillbilly."

*World War 2 going on and then stops.*

Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

What is the difference between a human being and a tree?

A human being can walk, and a tree can’t walk.

What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?

One's a good year and one's a great year.

I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.

They brought it over but spilled it on me.

I said that was a udder failure!