And jokes

I am a George Formby fan, and I love football. My favourite manager was Arsène Wenger. My favourite referee was Collina. My favourite player was Dean Windas. So my favourite George Formby song was "Wenger, Collina, Windas."

Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

I love you and I love you too. I love ❤️.

I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.

When your mum tells you to help your granny.

And you unplug life support!

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?

Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).

Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?

Because it's in bread.

What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver!

What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?

Black is their favorite color.

What are the 2 fights Africa could never win?

A food fight and a water fight!

What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?

The slash and burn tactic.

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

How does she know I have that?