And jokes

What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.

What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.

Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

White people be like, "Less bomb Ukraines hospitals and schools!"

Hahaha, dumb white people!

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?

Boomerangs come back.

Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?

A: They both want Anthony's neck.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?

One is beautiful.

What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?

They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.