And jokes

What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

How did the Iron and Gold start dating?

They met on TINder.

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?

Toot and poop.

Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"

What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?

Black is their favorite color.

What's the difference between me and a knife?

One has a point, and the other doesn't.

What's the difference between a joke and three cocks? You can't take a joke.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

What does cake and baseball have in common?

They both need a batter.

How do you disappoint people in Africa?

Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?

Because it's in bread.