And jokes

Hi, my name isn't Pi.

Look up at the sky and wonder why.

Why are you alive?

To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?

(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other one is just a watermelon.

What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?

I couldn't give a fuck about either.

Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"

What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?

Mario.

When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.

Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?

It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.

If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."

Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.

After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."

What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!

Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?

Because they hate their lives and want to die.

An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.

My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.

What do gum and guns have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.

Question: What is the difference between a morbid joke and a dark joke?

Answer: One is 10 babies in a trash can; the other is a baby in 10 trash cans.

I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.

I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!

Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.