And jokes

Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?

Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?

A. The little girl in my trunk.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

What happened to people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki? They swapped races.

Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?

The black one... he's 13!

Q: Why are orphans so successful? A: Because when they were younger, they got told, "Go big or go home," and only had one option.

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

Why are life and a penis alike?

Women make both of them hard.

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.

One was just a plane tortilla.

The other one was also just a plane tortilla.

And the third one went to the wrong address.

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.

Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?