And jokes

Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?

Joke,

Joke,

Jooooooooooooooke.

What is a similarity between priests and doctors?

They both have fetishes for their professions.

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"

Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.

Why was 10 scared?

Because he was in between 6 and 9.

What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?

The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.

POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.

What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?

About 40 mph.

What do an M&M and juice have in common?

Window.

Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!

He's a hot babe and he's single.

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."