And jokes
Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
Memes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
Why were 7, 8, and 10 scared?
Answer: 9/11, of course!
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
What's the difference between an orphan and a trash bag?
At least the trash bag gets picked.
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.