And jokes

What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.

So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?

Teens: NO WAY!

Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!

Teens: O OK. 😤

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"

Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"

What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?

"To be and not to be."

When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?

Once they're gone, they never come back.

When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"

What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!

What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?

The orphan gets back up.

Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?

Because they can’t even.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.

Want to know the difference between an orphan and a flower??

Flowers get picked.

What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

What goes in small and soft?

And comes out big and hard?

A tea bag.