And jokes
Chuck Norris sneezed and sent 2 planes flying... on September 11, 2001.
What’s an orphan's favorite beer?
Foster's.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
Memes
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂
I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
What's long and black?
The line to KFC.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.