And jokes

Friend

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

Orphan

What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.

Mirror

Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

Emo

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

Memes

Kidnapping

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Madeline McCann

What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?

Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!

Nemo

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

Twin Towers

Why were the Twin Towers angry?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.

Cancer

My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

Orphan

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

Midget

Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?

They never look down on anyone.

Alien

Why do humans hate aliens?

Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!

Emo

You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...

Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.

Priest

What do McDonald's and priests have in common?

They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.

Show

What show do gay men watch?

"2 and a Half Men!"

Lol at this one fellas!

Orphan

Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?

So they will be wanted.

War

I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!