And jokes

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows. No body, nose.

Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.

A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."

Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?

She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.

What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?

I don't know. I forgot.

As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.

Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).

P.S. I have no friends.

I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.

What is the difference between me and cancer?

My mom did beat cancer.

What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.

What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.

What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?

Both stare off into space.

A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."

The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."

What's the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.