And jokes
Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.
And they created The Green Party.
Bunger got me like:
😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...
I went up the temp girl and slapped her tests and said-
"I like ya cut, G."
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Memes
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.