And jokes

Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?

It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.

I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.

What's the same about a newborn and a football?

You can kick them both very easily.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One's actually picked.

What is the difference between Putin and an onion?

Nobody cries because of a cut Putin.

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?

They both smell like "Teen Spirit."

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.

Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?

Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.

Person: Why? You: No.

Why do special ed classes have fans?

To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.