And jokes
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
One has a home.
Memes
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.
(And you thought this would be a joke.)
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.