And jokes

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.

(And you thought this would be a joke.)

What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?

One has a home.

What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.

Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.

Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

When you tell your Roblox girlfriend you’re breaking up with her, and then 10 seconds later you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?

The wiener.

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"

I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.

Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?

That's what happened to my dog.

What do girls and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low... Better turn 'em on, just stubbed my f***ing toe!"

When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.