And jokes

Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.

Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.

Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.

Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)

"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"

"Yes, sir?"

"Do you have frog's legs?"

"Why, yes."

"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"

There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?

Miscarriage.

A blind man walked into a bar, a table, and a chair.

What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.

What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.

Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂

What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?

An Indian person is burnt after death.

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.

I gave a blind kid a pistol and said it was a hairdryer.

Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?

That's what happened to my dog.

My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.

Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.

Someone at school judged my grammar.

I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.