And jokes

If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

I have a penis, and sometimes I bite it.

Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.

I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.

Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.

Fine, then if I can't do Gwen, then I guess it is Tenya and Kenya. #Twin sisters! Tenya and Kenya!

Dear Gwen,

Gwen, when I said sorry, I meant that as a sarcastic "why" and point of view!

TBH, you make me sick as a dog! Also, you're so annoying; stop holding that anger in. BTW, I AM A SPECIAL CHILD!

BTW, I am 6 years old BTW!

Please comment good or not! Irdc!

What's the difference between cancer and my dad?

Cancer is still here. 😂😂😅😅😐😐😪😪😥😥😭😭

What did a cat say to the dog?

"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"

Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.

Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!

Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.

Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!

Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?

He's white on the inside.

He's orange on the outside.

And then there's that stick!

What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?

Still no idea. 😂

Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!

What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?

They both break your heart.

My favorite joke was: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?

A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"

Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.

So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."

What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?

Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

What's green and is dangerous?

Kermit with a flip knife.