And jokes

I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale!

What's brown and white with red all over?

Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.

What's long, hard, and full of semen?

Answer: Me.

What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?

A firecracker.

What is 6 inches and has nuts?

A Snickers bar.

I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?

Shrek's dick.

So I went up to a crying kid and asked, "Where's your mommy?"

God, I love working at an orphanage.

And together we will make America great again.

You were never great in the first place.

What's brown and hairy? A bear.

What's brown, hairy, and is in love with Ethan Herbst? Arij.

1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”

2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.

3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.

I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.

What did rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop and Smoke.

So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.

Snapchat: @colin_green21

What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?

Beauty!

What's green and has wheels?

Grass, I was just lying about the wheels.

What's green and has wheels? Grass.

I was just lying about the wheels.

My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.

A school bus full of children.

A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"