And jokes
Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.
Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.
How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
What do gasses and asses have in common? They both have asses in them!
Memes
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
What is a good night's sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk walk home from school. Was your time I had dinner night night? Dinner night, is it fun for me? I o I had dinner.
What is the difference between the human rights act and a home?
What is the difference between the human race and a leaky faucet?
What is the difference between a comma and a period?
A comma gives you a pause, but a period gives you sleep.
What's something yellow and cannot swim?
A bus full of children.
Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?
Because they don't have a home.
I did a walk today, but it was good for me and my car. And a walk today.
I did a walk, walk, and I had to a car and a walk home from home I did.
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
I did a walk today and walked today to get my car.
What's brown and sticky? A stick with poop on it.
Or a stick with poo on it.