And jokes
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!
Memes
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"
Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
One thing that Miles Morales and Black men have in common is that they're both rip-offs.
Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.
When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"
What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?
A fetus has more rights.
Ben 10 and a disabled person are the same, but no aliens for the disabled person.
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
What's brown and hairy? A bear.
What's brown, hairy, and is in love with Ethan Herbst? Arij.
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What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!