And jokes

I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive. What is the difference between a good [what]?

A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."

The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."

That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.

What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?

You don't want your computer to go down on you.

A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.

He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.

What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?

You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!

How did Steven Hawking die?

His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.

What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?

Nothing.

I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

I like my women like I like my wine.

Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.

I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.

Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/

What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?

At least a Christian kneels in church.

So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."

What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?

A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.

Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?

Jesus has a twisted humor.

kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.

Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).

She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008

Orphan joke protest! If you think orphan jokes are bad and wrong, then comment good comments; if not, then just comment! Let's reach 67,000 good comments!

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus.