And jokes

What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?

Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.

Poop and balls through the walls!

So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

I went to the store and I saw no oranges, and I went to ask the cashier:

"Cashier: Which one?"

When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples actually get picked.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

What is the difference between a horse and a rabbit?

A horse can't hoop.

What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?

They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.

Me and freshfry talking.

What is the difference between a laser beam and a trash can?

A trash can doesn't rage.

My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."

Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.