And jokes
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
When you are playing Fortnite and you get a big W, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
What's green and furry?
Fiona from Shrek.
Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!
Memes
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I took a poo, and it smelt like you.
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Some smile, others beam.
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
Yo mama so gay that she made left and right turn straight.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?