America

America Jokes

Fashion Sense

Straights are ALWAYS asking LGBTQ+ people why they have such GOOD FASHION SENSE. We didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing, honey ;)

Earth

I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!

Country

What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!

And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!

Bomb

Why is America better than Japan at rapping?

Because we're better at dropping bombs.

AK

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: πŸšͺ πŸƒπŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸƒπŸ½πŸƒπŸΏπŸƒπŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸƒπŸ½πŸƒπŸΏπŸƒπŸΏπŸƒπŸΏβ€β™€οΈ πŸŽ’ πŸƒπŸ»

Explorer

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. β€œOn the search,” as they would say.

By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.

I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.

During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.

Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.

  • 4
  • Number

    So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.

    Movie

    Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...

    And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.

    Number

    So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.

    American

    What is the difference between an American and a computer?

    An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.

    Kanye West

    After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

    War

    America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.

    Racist

    America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.

    White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"

    The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."

    1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"