One night my brother asked me, "Am I a pro gamer?" I said, "No, you're not a Pro-grammer."
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?
symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?
angela: Because you are the thot of the group.
symple: Well it takes one to know one.
symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"
angela: FUCK OFF!
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
Why Am I Happy? I'm Dead
Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.
I am mis-steak.
I am the joke
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!
Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: You're both!
Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?
Because I am a bully!
