Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
Am I in Florida, because I'm triggered?
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Why am I idiot?
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
why am i naughty?- because i want to be ....
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
