New Amativeness Jokes - Page 29

symple: y did u include me in this fuckery? symple: and y the fuck am i the profile picture? angela: because u r the thot of the group. symple: well it takes one to know one. symple: arnt Thot jokes just ̈whore ́able ̈? angela: FUCK OFF!

I Was Hiting My Hand And My Mom Asked Me What Am I Doing I Said Im Beating My Meat

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done I said "How bout you give me a standing ovation." I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair. Sad and lonely

Why Am I Happy? I'm Dead

Hi guys. I am so happy and proud of myself and i thought i should share with you!! Today i saw myself on TV when i turned it off.

I am mis-steak.

I am the joke

a dark joke is like a kid with cancer. it never gets old. **I AM SO SORRY**

I was in a toxic relationship . After some time my girlfriend died, her name was happy . Still got no clue of her body and here i am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".

Shipmate: captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now! Captain:my momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.

Life is a bitch and people make it worse This Thing that I'm in ("am") is a Forsaken curse (beta)

Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly?

Boyfriend: your both!

Girlfriend: what do you mean by that?

Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

Good morning madam, I am from the local council, can you please tell me if you have a dog licence for that poodle you have on your head?

I wrote a passage to stop about bullying and it was easy do you know why

Because I am a bully!!!

My new step father told me that I'm his new son. so I say ok. My step father step father said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said yeah like what ? My step father said well you came out of your mother's pussy, I eat your mother's pussy. You use suck on your mother's tits, now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother use to smack you in the ass when you act up, now I smack your mom in the as now. Your mother call me daddy, now I am your new daddy.

Whats the difference between me calling my gf a pedefile and her calling me on oh wait i am cause shes 10

I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you'll love. Anyway...

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"