Allergy jokes

What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.

Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.

Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.

Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.

What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!

I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me when he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.

I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.

I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"

I'm hertophobic.

It means I'm allergic to straights.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂

What's bad? A nut allergy.

Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?

A: An Epstein pen.