When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with and EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh, for God's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
