Allergy jokes
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
When it's NNN but you have a peanut allergy: 🥳
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
I don't think I'm allergic to this.