All jokes

Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.

Kid: Why, Dad?

Dad: So you don't get bored.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.

All people are invited!

We have a lot! Enjoy!

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?

Because he has ALL of the booty!

"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.

Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.

Why are kids so skinny?

Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.

To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA because all the black guys are playing.

You're all gay. HEHEHE!

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.