All jokes

Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.

"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.

Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.

"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."

They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they are all crying in a dark corner.

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵

He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez

Why did the orphan fail all his classes?

He couldn’t do his homework.

Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.

Kid: Why, Dad?

Dad: So you don't get bored.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.

All people are invited!

We have a lot! Enjoy!

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?

Because he has ALL of the booty!

"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.

Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.