All jokes
The Twin Towers ordered two pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plane.
You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.
I've seen them hanging all day.
Memes
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?
It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was flaming hot wings.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"