All jokes

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!

Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!

Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.

What constellation has no hair at all?

Cancer.

What is red, white, and blue all over?

A dead cop.

Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.

Dark jokes aren't funny... I can't see them at all.

"Jizzy jazz all over my ass."

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.

Why did the hobo go back to the future?

To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.

Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol

I lost all faith in humanity. I am moving to Uranus; it's really big. I might get lost.

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?

But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.

Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?

Palpatine: Stew it.

Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?

'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.

Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"

Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"

Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

All of the jokes are just abuse.