New Accessory Jokes

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken came in another box.

Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.

You look good with anything, but nothing works too.

An old man goes to church.

One Sunday morning, an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt, and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand, he carried a worn-out old hat and an equally worn-out Bible.

The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed in expensive clothes and accessories.

As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship."

The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again, he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the man and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church."

"I did," replied the old cowboy.

"If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?" asked the preacher.

"Well, sir, God told me that He didn't have a clue what I should wear. He said He'd never been in this church."

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"

"Sofishticated."

Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?

People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.

You look sexy with that rope around your neck.

When you see a woman with a leg chain, what usually comes to your mind?

What’s brown, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.

What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.

What did the shirt say to the pants?

Belt.

Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.

Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.