Absence

Absence jokes

Orphan

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

  • 3
  • Orphan

    Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?

    A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.

  • 3
  • Dad

    The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

  • 5
  • Dad

    You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

  • 4
  • Dad

    I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.

    He didn't show up for the rest of the year.

    Ladder

    I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.

    Shot

    I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.

    Orphan

    What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.

    Mom

    Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

    Orphan

    What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?

    An orphan's parents.

    Dad

    Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.

  • 7
  • Orphan

    Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came home with the milk.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans have water in their cereal?

    Because their dad never came home with the milk.