Absence jokes
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
Why can't an orphan play soccer on the home side of the field? They don't have a home!
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"
Why is daonlyjuanhere an orphan?
Because he is the only one.
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
My dad left me, lol.
Your hairline goes so far back it left before your dad did.
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
What does an orphan's family photo called?
A selfie.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
What do you call an orphan's selfie?
A family photo.