Absence jokes

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?

A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.

Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?

The punchline isn’t apparent.

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.

He didn't show up for the rest of the year.

You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.

I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.

I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.

What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.

Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?

A: The homepage.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?

An orphan's parents.

Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came home with the milk.

The orphan: why don't my parents love me? Me: because you don't have any.

Q: What do you call an orphan's family tree?

A: A stump.

Why do orphans have water in their cereal?

Because their dad never came home with the milk.