Absence jokes
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.
What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?
A dad joke.
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never comes back.
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.