Absence jokes
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.
I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?
A dad joke.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never comes back.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."