My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden. He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, " You have to dig a little."
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium? Because you are looking a little bit Ga Y
These jokes are a little to explosive if you ask me
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea then Asked for his parents. God orphanages are fun to work at!!
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?", the priest asks. "Christian kittens", the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box", he says, "It's the cutest thing!" The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens", she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were "Christian kittens!!!" "They were", she says. "Now their eyes are open".
I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately...”
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, But he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddybeer.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple... you never see a pimple come on a little boys face.
Two kids were sitting at restaurant one said could I please have some water I am feeling a little HORSE. The other said Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game.
there's three kids: little drop, little feather, and little brick. Little feather goes "mommy why do u call me l'feather"? She answers "cuz a little feather fell over your head when u were born". L'drop asks to his mom "mommy why do u call be l'drop"? She answers "cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born". L'brick goes " aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn"
So little johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!
If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?
Little johnny smiled and said: A bus driver!
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says don ́t worry there will be a third person in a little while.
what's the difference between a little boy and a freezer? the freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said "i farted and the building behind me blew up".
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants? Michael Jackson's lipstick.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth
