Are you the king of the jungle? 'Cause why are we lying?
what’s dudeese
@whatsdudeese
active as of now, but dont expect this to last very long. i often forget i have an account here
There are two sexes: one with your mother and the other with you.
"My love, I missed you."
"Aww, I missed you too."
"I did not miss *that* time!"
If there's a lieutenant, shouldn't there be a righttenant too? 🤔
What would you call a Spanish Notch?
El Notch-o.
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
Spanish folks must love Olaf because they say his name to me all the time.
Germans be like, “Guten Morgan.”
Bitch, that's not my name.
Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."
Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.
Autists either believe everything you tell them or are nonstop skeptics. There is no in-between.
American-accented, British pronunciation, what am I?
Either Canadian or European.
If Fascism got popularized by autistics, the trains would have run on time.
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
Grandma: "Y’know, I used to be in this wheelchair cause of back pain. But ever since I met Spence, the pain went to my legs. At least my back is fixed!"
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.