I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.
what’s dudeese
@whatsdudeese
active as of now, but dont expect this to last very long. i often forget i have an account here
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
You know what they call pineapples in Paris?
I don't know, what?
Anus.
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
When you were late to school and your teacher called you tardy, she meant that in more ways than one.
In England, for every church, there are two pubs.
In Poland, for every pub, there are two churches.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
Wordle be like (pt3)
Any future Wordle jokes I'll just put into one mega comp.
STUCK 💛🩶🩶🩶💛
FOLKS 🩶🩶🩶💛💚
MAKES 🩶🩶💚💚💚
YIKES 💛🩶💚💚💚
Wordle be like (Part 2):
COMBS 💚🩶🩶🩶💚
CURES 💚💚🩶🩶💚
CULTS 💚💚🩶💚💚
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
When it's NNN but you have a peanut allergy: 🥳
What do you call a downie superhero?
Chromo-doner.
Six one.
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?