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Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?

So the police can see that he’s white.

What do you call lesbian twins?

Lick-A-Likes.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

Little boys turn them on.

What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.

What’s a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.

What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

What's the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you stick the cucumber.

What do you call a group of black people in a shed?

Antique farm equipment.

My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.

Weird, he usually uses a sock.

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

Where do poor Italians live?

The spaghetto.

What concert only costs 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and red and black and white and white and black and red and red and black and red and white and black and red and red and red and red?

A penguin in a blender.

What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.

My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.