Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.
GG Miller
Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
"Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera."
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for burgers and fries.
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
What is heavy forward but not backward?
What can you catch but not throw?
Roses are red, violets are blue, keep being you, let no one discourage you.