Worst Jokes Ever

Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!

There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.

I can't see the bee.

It's by the beehive.

Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.

Why would a dead guy lie?

Because he can't stand up.

How do skeletons make love?

They bone each other!

You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?

Other: What's snoo?

You: Not much, how 'bout you?

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!

If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, does that mean your pants are tucked into your shirt?

What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.

My name is Justin. I like boys. Hit me up?

Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards". It is cool.

I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.

My friend: Yo stupid.

Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?

My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*

Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.

I named my dog Chicken.

I love eating chicken.

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.

hg is cool.

"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.

"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."

"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.

Grandma pointed to the campfire.