Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
A depressed kid tried to give a tree a high-five, but the tree left him hanging.
Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?
Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
So when my parents say no to "isms," I say, "Can I be homophobic?"
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.