3 minutes jokes

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

Who is older than the Twin Towers?

Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.

Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.

Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?

3 minutes later:

Why didn't I listen to the strong one?

My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.

A man told his love interest she looked beautiful.

And then his love interest told him she had loads of things to tell him.

And after 3 minutes, she told him he looked fat, ugly, disgusting, creepy, and tiny.

Then the police came and arrested her for saying that.

To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.