11

11 jokes

Guy

  • I was 11 or 12 at the time.

    Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

    If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

  • 6
  • Fat Person

  • A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.

  • 0
  • Jumper

  • What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

    Their ankles.

    Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.

    Size

  • Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.

    A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.

    First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.

    It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."

    He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.

    She walks away and says ok.

    The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"

  • 0
  • People

  • People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

  • 0
  • 9/11

  • (just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.

  • 13
  • Victim

  • Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?

    Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

  • 0