Kid: hey dad Dad: your an hour late Kid: no it was 2 hours also I was working on math Dad: by yourself? Kid: no, Dad: a boy?, Kid: I was with the teacher
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
"kill yourself" "kill me yourself pussy"
People: Stop joking about such serious issues!
Me: Kill yourself.
puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (ill never be able to do it) the mother: AI NINO ( OH CHILD ) the teen: QUE? ( WHAT?) the mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! ( DONT START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN) the teen: I CANT DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA the mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH) the teen: QUAL ( WIHCH) the mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD) the teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA ( THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE) *a phone buzzes* the teen: whose phone is that ma? unknown: MR PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE * runs to bag opens white one and sticks hand in* the teen : HAIR GELL
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
I'm supposed to put a joke here. But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself? Im sure you'll laugh.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
A letter to all Math; Dear Math, Grow up an solve your own problems! 2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didnāt have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and itāll make sense. ;)
Your at a buffet, you think your hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of your self, you get stuck looking at sides in the buffet, a roly poly gal you see in corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end, you go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slamed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she's is tenderizing you for dinner.
You're a good soldier Choosing your battles Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and back in the saddle You're on the front line Everyone's watching You know it's serious we're getting closer, this isn't over The pressure is on You feel it But you've got it all Believe it When you fall get up oh oh And if you fall get up oh oh Tsamina mina zangalewa 'Cause this is Africa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Listen to your God This is our motto Your time to shine don't wait in line y vamos por todo People are raising Their expectations Go on and feed them this is your moment no hesitations Today's your day I feel it You paved the way Believe it If you get down get up oh oh When you get down get up eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa aa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Ame la mejole biggi biggi mubbo wa A to Z Asi tsu zala makyuni biggi biggi mubbo from East to West Asi waga waga ma eh eh waga waga ma eh eh Tendency suna tsibuye 'cause this is Africa (Africa, Africa Africa) Tsamina mina, Anawa a a Tsamina mina Tsamina mina, Anawa a a Tsamina mina, eh eh Waka waka, eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a Tsamina mina, eh eh Waka waka, eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Django eh eh Django eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a Django eh eh Django eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a This time for Africa This time for Africa We're all Africa We're all Africa
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Who are you?
Yourself.
When your sad donāt feel down about yourself break someoneās leg and laugh.
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.
How do you confuse a blonde paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
IDK if this is a joke or a question but If killing yourself send you to hell where does siting in the waiting room get you?
How do you turn a straight guy into you a gay guy well... For starts you grab that ass of his drag him into the bathroom and tell him to suck my long big pineapple and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into dick suckin machine
