Yours jokes

In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"

In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"

Dentist: Open up, sir.

Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

Dentist: Do you need help??

Me: Yep.

Dentist: ...

Me: ....

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  • When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

    “They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

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  • "Do you have a noose?"

    "Nose?"

    "Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

    "I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

    "No."

    *Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

    Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

    At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

    To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊

    U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.

    U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.

    You were sad because your grandmother died.

    The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

    You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

    You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.