Your Mum

Your Mum jokes

Mum

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

Mum

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

Mum

When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."

Beer

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

Mum

Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Mum

Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.

Lard

What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?

Your mum!!!

Yo mama

When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"

Dad

What does your mum have in common with your dad?

They are both men.

Arse

My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!