Your mom jokes
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.
–Pluto.
Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.
Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."
Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.
Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.
The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.
🤣🤣🤣
Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?
The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"
Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"
Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.
This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.